Monday, June 03, 2013

On the choice I made



"Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a lost tradition"
-Jacques Barzun


Last night, as I was busy reading some articles about education and educators and looking at my options for post-graduation, I suddenly remembered something someone said to me a few years ago. 

Before I get in to that, however, let me tell you that I have always wanted to be a teacher. Ever since I can remember. Ever since I was a kid, about 4 years old or so, I would take my grandmother's dupattas (since my mother refused to allow me to ruin hers), tie them around myself like a saree (a new one everyday), and my grandmother's shoes (again since my mom wouldn't let me mess with hers), and get dressed up as a teacher. I would imagine a bed-full of students, would write on a makeshift board, and talk to my imaginary students for hours, teaching them whatever I had myself learnt at school that day. I would be gentle, I would reprimand them for any mischief, I would ask them if they understood, I would explain again, almost re-enacting what my own teachers would do with us. If ever my mother, or anyone, would come into the room and sit on the bed, I would scream and say, "Aap mere bachon par baith rahi hain!" (You're sitting on my childen!) A fond memory that is. From the very few things I remember about my childhood, this is perhaps the most vivid memory I have. Also, my parents and grandparents, having taken immense joy in my antics back in those days, have often mentioned these things to me and everyone.


Over the years, as my learning syllabus grew, so did my teaching syllabus and thus my teaching methods. At 10, I was still teaching a bed-full of imaginary students, giving them tests, dismissing them for their break, and welcoming them back to class again. My "sarees" became better draped, my grandmother's shoes started fitting me a little better, I was in a position to now raid my mother's better-looking, high-heeled shoes, and had more books to teach from. I would teach Science, English, Hindi, Social Studies and Math (till I was 11, I was surprisingly good at Math! Haha!). I would make my cousins Sani and Ari (not their real names, of course) my students too whenever they were over, and I would test them and mark their tests in red pen. I remember reliving these fantasies in actuality when I did finally start teaching officially. 


While growing up, my career choices varied. Always. I wanted to be an air-hostess so I could fly around the world, I wanted to be a paediatrician because I loved kids and I loved Biology, I wanted to be an interior designer because I was creative and loved doing things to my room, I wanted to study business administration because I had the natural knack of a business-woman. I wanted to be so many things, and yet, I always wanted to keep teaching. I remember saying to my friends often, "no matter what I specialise in, I want to teach it". And that is what has always been the plan. If I had become a doctor, I would have wanted to teach after a few years of experience. If I had been a designer, I would have wanted to teach alongside. If I had been a business person, I would have wanted to teach instead of work in a typical office setting, or bother with running my own business. What did I eventually major in on an undergrad level? English Literature. And what do I want to pursue my post-grad in? Education. 


Now let's come back to what someone said to me a few years ago that I suddenly remembered last night. Mr. Somebody, let's call him, said to me, "You know, Miss S, you amaze me! When you were young, and used to live in Delhi, and would go to school, and do well, and even after you left and came back on vacations, you always impressed us. You knew so much, you were always well-acquainted with what was happening around the world. If we would talk about something academic, you always had something to say, and that something always made sense. You could talk about science, you could talk about geography, about history, you knew your psychology well, you knew everything but Math! We always thought you would eventually major in something of substance, maybe be a doctor, or a psychologist, or you would excel in a business school. But you've decided to study literature, and you want to teach? I know it's not because you had no other options. But why choose to be a teacher?"


Well, Mr. Somebody had me blushing quite a bit, especially since I was never a Grade A student, but just curious and a lover of knowledge. But not once did his statement make me question my decisions. I remember telling him this:


"Well, its easy, Mr. Somebody. I study literature because I love it. It's wholesome. From it I learn history, I learn geography, I learn medicine, I learn physics, I learn about plants, I learn about animals, I learn about politics, I learn how people think, I learn how they behave and why they do so, I learn how to sympathise, I learn how to empathise. Literature is wholesome. I take pleasure in a good book and a good piece of poetry, but I make sure I take from it a lot more than just its words. 


Why I want to teach, you ask? Yes, I want to teach, because all that knowledge of science, and psychology, and geography and history, I owe to my teachers, of school, of college. I want to teach because I want to give back and share what I have taken. I want to teach because only a teacher can make a student love a subject or hate it. I want to teach because only a teacher can eventually make doctors, or engineers, or psychologists, or geographers or historians. I want to teach because if you and I weren't taught, whether it be our ABC's or 123's, or the basics of sciences or anything that came after that, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. You wouldn't be studying the professional course that you are, either. Mr. Somebody, always remember that only a teacher who "chooses" to teach out of the love and passion they have for it, will be able to make a student really understand and love knowledge the way it should be loved. I have been lucky to be blessed with teachers who loved to teach and chose to do so when they had other options too because those who did so only out of a lack of other choices, have made my quest of doing well in Math a nightmare, always, and you know it because you've loathed some subjects for the same reason. Anyone can tell a passionate teacher apart from one who just landed into the profession out of an option deficit. 


Teachers work hard, they shepherd a flock. A new flock each year. A shepherd knows every single sheep of its flock from the other. He knows how to deal with each individual sheep. A shepherd knows how to treat its flock like a flock, make it work like a flock, and yet identify and treat every single sheep as individuals. And that's what teachers do. They hold their flock together, give it a direction, polish it, mend it, feed it, care for it, prepare it for what's coming. 


If people don't "choose" to teach today, Mr. Somebody, what would our kids learn tomorrow? If a shepherd doesn't choose to be a shepherd today, where will its flock go?"